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Tyrone sees both the boy from back in the day and the man standing in front of him: they oscillate in his eyes like a hologram. Back when he first discovered the kid, when he was still Ahmad Trench-even then he could flip like a light switch. He’s used to Stillz wildin out like this.
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Tyrone grabs it and stashes it under the mattress. 40 cal from his knapsack, presses it into Tyrone’s neck and says, Who leaked the picture? Who leaked it? I will kill a motherfucker dead, you heard me? Everybody get the fuck out, he says, and pushes Tyrone into the bedroom. I like somr of mr stillzes muzik but i worry about him he a lil fruity -)Ī skr8 ^ pussy with NO musical talent whatsoever.Īnd dozens way worse than that. Mr stillz a great raper but he sucking tyrone dick lol Every entry, each little drive-by of hatred, makes it harder for him to breathe: Two days ago he conquered the world and now he’s here torturing himself with YouTube comments about how fake he is, how soft, how they shoulda known that any nigga who wore that much pink just had to be sweeter than a pancake. Rappers he’s collaborated with are calling him a faggot. Parodies have flooded YouTube within hours. In web searches, the photo is always-already-the first image to appear. Tyrone’s riding a different bus now: can’t stand to see Stillz so slurry from the sizzurp.
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Back on his tour bus heading to Miami, he glues himself to his laptop. I imagine him when he realizes what he’s done. That man raised me and believed in me when I ain’t had shit. Hours after the pic’s gone viral, a super-high Stillz gives an interview on his tour bus. Some look away, but two meaty goons mean-mug, disgusted by this display. They’re under a pavilion, bright palm trees rising beyond its white columns.
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They both wear white-Stillz in a wife-beater, Tyrone in a tracksuit-and there’s a patch of shine on Tyrone’s always-Michael-Jordan-clean dome. Diminutive Stillz and muscled-up Wreckless Tyrone embrace in a handshake/hug combo.
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inked across his right temple (you can timeline his life by his tats). It must’ve been snapped just after Katrina, judging by Stillz’s incipient dreads, the fleur-de-lis tattoo under his right sideburn, and the absence of The G.R.I.E.F. So naturally my theories ran buck-wild when the photograph surfaced.įirst, though, the facts: On February 12, 2008, two days after Stillz racks up six Grammys, it appears online. I subscribe to the hip-hop mags because he decorates their pages. I’ve memorized hundreds of his verses, seen the documentaries, the interviews, the countless clips of him recording in his psychedelic freestyle mode. But I’m an addict, hooked on one rapper above the rest: Mr. The homophobia, the drug dealing and gun toting, the bling and the misogyny-it can feel like stylized, repetitive ugliness, at least mainstream gangsta shit. Like most black men of my generation, I belong to the hip-hop nation, and like any sensible gay man, I’m ashamed at times to say I’m a fan. “Pleurant, je voyais de l’or-et ne pus boire.” -Arthur Rimbaudįull disclosure up front: I am a gay black man, a proud New Orleanian, thirty years old, five out of the closet, a decade on the down-low before that bi-dialectal as every educated brother in this city must be, a code-switcher as needed a poet in my spare time, in my unspare time a poetry teacher devoted to dead French guys and live black ones.